[Read Book] ☪ Lingus ♾ Franzbielmeier.de

What the fuck was wrong with me, I wondered I wished there was a version of Pepto Bismol for verbal diarrhea, because I d invest in it You and me both, dear Kat I know people that desperately need this.The first line of the book makes another excellent quote to start describing the plotKat Look at this my best friend squealed, turning around, holding a huge glass dildo in her hand Oh, my God How did I ever let her drag me to a fucking porn convention And so Katherine Kat Berger ended up in a porn convention Kat is a teacher and to say that meeting a parent of one of her student is embarrassing is an understatement of the year No wonder poor woman felt awkward While trying to discreetly fix her wardrobe malfunction which could be described in layman terms as wedgy she was observed by a tall and handsome guy who made a joke trying to be helpful We all know the drill A girl meets a guy, they fall in love with each other, get married, and live happily ever after Not so fast A little later it turned out tall and handsome guy whose name was Tristan where the heck do people get such names I have never met anybody named this in my whole life also happened to be a pornstar with a name Robbie Lingus To guy s justification, he was studying at a law school and with their tuition even Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos would think twice before coming up with this kind of money, so Tristan did not have much choice bills needed to be paid Awkward situations of all kinds ensure It is not that I am a big expert in the genre, but I do not see books with three characters working in adult movie industry often Author walks a fine line between being hypocritical and looking at it through rose colored glasses and she almost never stumbles from it The characters were great if not always completely fleshed out, but very colorful nonetheless Yes, it took so long before sex happened that some of my friends mentioned blue balls, but for Robbie Ligus it was impossible to have such by the very nature of his job It was implicitly implied, but Kat was not shy about using some toys to relieve her stress Humor helped please refer to the quotes above as well as the followingI asked the sweet Lord Jesus to bless me with the power of invisibility, at least for a few minutes What did not work for me all the time was Kat herself she did came out somewhat hypocritical occasionally Then again having a boyfriend working in porn can induce some hypocrisy I thought long and hard about the rating 3 or 4 stars Initially I thought 3, but one of my GR friends hi Aileene was so enthusiastic about the book that it became contagious So 4 stars it is. 4.5 Mag Goldie Stars This perfect looking person who caught me pulling my underwear out of my ass, called me a gold digger, walked me to the bathroom, referred to the bat signal for assistance, ate a hot dog with me, and said he enjoyed meeting me was a freaking porn star.I m kicking my own butt for not reading Lingus sooner I thought I d learned my lesson after the 5 star awesomeness that is Wall of Winepeg but apparently being a dumbass comes all too easily to me Marianna Zapata is the new queen of the slow build romance as far as I m concerned The build up and tension between Kat and Tristan was the perfect mix of sweet, funny and hawt I loved the obvious fact these two had fallen hard for one another but both waited to take the leap from friends to something Getting to know both characters ad well as I did as a reader made all of that good stuff even sweeter I guessed I d just have to weigh what was important to me a giant cock or a friendship that seemed as easy as breathing minus the sexual tension on my behalf Fuck. I love the fact no part of the story ever felt over the top dramatic and still it never dragged There s a subtlety to this author s writting that, after two books, I ve really come to appreciate I m already looking forward to my next read by Ms ZapataYou ll always be my favorite person in the world Always [Read Book] ♝ Lingus ♬ Most People Would Describe Katherine Berger As A Responsible Girl With A Big Heart, A Loyal Friend Who Takes Care Of Those Close To Her, And The Possessor Of A Wicked Sense Of Humor There Was Something About Her That Most People Didn T Know My Name Is Kat Berger, And I Love Porn When Twenty Five Year Old Kat Is Dragged To A Porn Convention By Her Best Friend, She S Both Embarrassed And Nervous The Last Thing She Ever Expected Was To Meet Someone Who Makes Her Laugh Like No Other This Is A Story About Acceptance And Friendship, And A Love Born Out Of The Most Unexpected Of Places Instagram Twitter Facebook PinterestThis book made me so angry that I took an ice cream break after finishing it so my review wouldn t consist entirely of angry swear words How does this problematic, awful book have the following that it does I picked it up because I find the adult entertainment industry fascinating I ve read Asa Akira s memoir, and watched several interviews with big name porn actors, including Cracked s 4 Surprising Downsides to Being a Porn Star , which really gives a human face to the industry Given Zapata s reputation for romantic slow burn romances, I was hoping for a similar sort of inside look at a much maligned industry Sadly, the only slow burn to be found here is probably going to be caused by a stupidity induced STD, or a headache from repeatedly banging your head against a wall.Kat Berger, the heroine, loves porn So when her friend manages to finagle tickets to an adult entertainment convention, what does Kat do If you thought accept with gratitude, you would be wrong She proceeds to drag her heels and be a major buzzkill, proclaiming her embarrassment to anyone who will listen when she s not shaming everyone in sight, that is If you re not a modest, young, well groomed person, you re apparently not allowed to enjoy porn, as Kat shames the old people at the convention women are pathetic cougars, old men are creeps , the women in revealing clothes sluts and desperate whores , and the women with big breasts she calls them monstrosities.Here are just a few choice descriptions from Kat The eight bitches in front of us were all dressed up like trashy versions of country girls in microscopic cut off jean shorts If that wasn t bad enough, the old geezers behind us were wearing enough makeup to stock Sephora for six months 4% I wanted to ask him which whore in line was his friend, but I didn t I also silently wondered why such a good looking male specimen was at a porn convention This guy didn t need porn to get off he could easily just flash that perfect face at any girl I was sure they d flock to him like a bitch in heat looking to get mounted 5% Some gonorrhea infected fans might try to kiss him or grab his bubble butt Women with loose, flapping vaginal lips that were capable of clapping would try to hug him and whisper suggestive things in his ears 77%.Another thing that bothers me is how Kat s friend, Nicole, treats one of the porn stars at the convention, named Calum Burro When she gets his autograph, she grabs his ass and whispers obscenities in his ear the same thing that Kat is afraid of happening to her own porn star boyfriend at that quote I cited at 77%, funny how it s OK when Nicole does it If you watched that video I linked to at the top, the one by Cracked, you ll have heard that one of the problems porn stars face is people assuming that porn stars are fair game because they ve shared their bodies with the public, which some people i.e Kat and her friends take to mean that it s okay to follow them home or touch them inappropriately I feel like in a real life setting, behavior like Nicole s would get you thrown out on your ass from the convention, but it gets Nicole a phone number and an invitation to follow up on what she whispered into his ear They end up in a relationship and then a few weeks after they start dating, married An ending like this validates such mistreatment of people in the entertainment industry, and I found it, frankly, sickening.Kat meets the love interest, Tristan Robby, while he s walking around at the convention, incognito He actually catches her tugging her wedgie out of her ass, and his first line to her is, Digging for gold He thinks this is so cute that he gives her the nickname gold digger, and then, later, just goldie Kat is very upset when she finds out what Tristan s profession is, and when he goes out on business while they re together, she equates it to cheating This porn cheating thing is a running theme in this book, and it s very disturbing At the convention where Nicole first meets Calum, her friends have to hold her back from attacking one of his female coworkers because she s that jealous that the two of them had a scene together keep in mind that this is before he even speaks to her or even knows she exists When Nicole and Calum are engaged, he goes to his last job, and Nicole and Kat consider Nicole cheating on him behind his back to make it fair, since he s cheating on her Kat is insanely jealous of all of Tristan s past working relationships and slut shames all of them, picking on in particular their appearance, especially their breasts.The way Kat sees porn is highly warped and sexist, because she obviously considers it a form of slumming something that s she s above but occasionally deigns to indulge in, like a guilty secret The male porn stars are all admired by Kat and her friends, but the women are called sluts and whores Kat s friend, Zoey, is also a porn star, but because she s cute and Asian and only does girl on girl, she isn t considered a sexual rival, so she is the sole exception to Kat s misogyny Despite being attracted to Tristan, she still considers him the worst type of man at first because he has sex with women on video Later, he gives up porn for her as Calum does for Nicole and Kat seems to accept this as her due Obviously, Tristan considers her the best lay he s ever had, and one of her friends Zoey tells Kat that her breasts are probably the only real ones he s ever touched This is magic vagina syndrome in full, because why would Tristan need to continue with his debauched ways now that he has a good girl to save him through sex I wanted to throw my computer into the wall when Kat wants to make things different for him by not having sex with him using a condom, since he s always had sex with his partners using condoms and she doesn t want to be like his other women Not only is this INSANE, it s also incredibly unsafe Tristan has probably had sex with dozens of women if not hundreds of women , and there was no mention of an STD test, just birth control Great.But the crowning moment of Kat s hypocrisy was when they go on vacation together and Tristan finds a video of Kat doing porn on her computer Apparently, when Zoey was trying to make it, she needed someone to help her do a girl on girl scene and after several friends turned her down, the unwilling Kat reluctantly agreed to participate Tristan is, of course, incredibly turned on, and after telling her what a selfless and special person she is and how not enough people would do such a thing for their friends , they have hot sex for the first time I was so angry First of all, that was not selfless, that was stupid Real friends wouldn t force their friends into doing something exploitative Kat is an elementary school teacher, and teachers have been fired for doing less An elementary school teacher doing porn Even if the video was never distributed, as Kat claims, if that ever got out, it would ruin her career Zoey was selfish and cruel to ask that, and Kat was stupid to accept.Speaking of careers, Tristan is doing law school in addition to porn because of course he is He s bizarrely certain that his career will never get out because he had the sense to use hair dye Any law firm worth its salt is going to do a background check, and I can almost guarantee that they re going to turn up his old career, and it s going to ruin him, too Lawyers are highly reputation bound, and as much as I hate that this is the case, nobody is going to take an ex porn star lawyer seriously No one.LINGUS also shares many of the features that made Zapata s other book, RHYTHM, CHORD MALYKHIN so unpleasant for me There s a heavy reliance on fecal humor, which I find juvenile and gross I don t need to hear about it whenever someone needs to go to the bathroom, and I don t want to hear Kat rant about how she apparently pees herself every time she sneezes girl, do some kegels, seriously There are also the same homophobic transphobic jokes peppered in here about sex changes and people so hot they could turn gay people straight, which are comparatively harmless in the grand scheme of things, but are still harmful, because they passively perpetuate those kinds of harmful views by joking about them as if they are fact Don t even get me started on Kat s gay best friend, who is portrayed as a total slut who sniffs out gay men like a male dog catching a female dog s scent in heat I kept waiting for him to say fabulous He didn t, but I m sure the author considered having him do so Probably while farting or peeing himself, keeping in the scatological vein of this book s sense of humor It was that bad.I ve read four of this author s books now DEAR AARON started off charming and devolved into what I considered an unhealthy relationship RHYTHM, CHORD MALYKHIN was awful, and I only rounded it up because I really appreciated the musical references and that feeling of being on tour KULTI was absolutely wonderful, and I honestly can t believe that the author who wrote that book, which flew by because I was enjoying it so much, is the same author who wrote these three other books, because LINGUS was the worst yet There was nothing to redeem it It was wretched.I guess if you re going to read a book by this author, start with KULTI It is the only book of hers that has lived up to the hype I still have WAIT FOR IT and THE WALL OF WINNIPEG on my Kindle, so I m hoping that those veer on the KULTI side of the spectrum than the LINGUS side.Avoid.1 star 4.5 StarsSo here s the thing I actually came on here to post about the bitchin extra scenes done in Tristan s POV I just read Much to my surprise, I soon realized I d read and never rated this book In case you re wondering, I loved it and it served as a most righteous comfort re read for me today The link to Tristan awesomeness Here you go Find all of my reviews atYou need some cock in your life, and he knows what he s doingMariana Zapata is an author who has popped up on my feed every now and again ever since I joined GR Unfortunately, the porny librarian has not yet stocked any of her titles When I saw this one shining like a beacon over on for a measly buck, I one clicked that sumbitch lickity split The other morning I started reading it while waiting for my morning fix to come out of the fancy barista coffee maker when I was startled by one of the senior partners asking what was the book of the day My reaction was exactly what you would expect it to be Thank Jeebus he was classy enough to leave me with my smut and a response of nevermind What can I say A girl has to mix things up every once in a while The story here is about Kat and Tristan, two strangers who have quite the meet cute at a porn convention While waiting on her bestie to get the porn star of her dream s autograph, Kat s undies start creeping so she backs herself into a nearby table in order to take care of the problem Now I ain t sayin she s a gold digger, but Tristan just so happens to be seated at said table and makes his presence known After recovering from their awkward meet cute, Tristan and Kat run into each other a few times over the course of the day, and then Kat discovers Tristan s alter ego a porn star known as Robby Lingus Tristan acknowledges he s not really interested in a girlfriend and Kat acknowledges she s uncomfortable dating a dude who bangs chicks for a living as we readers embark on a friends to lovers trope.As with all porny selections, there s a bit of reality that has to be left at the door This go around, our leading male is a porn star by weekend whenever he gets hired for a gig and an intern law student by day Now, if you ve ever worked in a law firm you are fully aware that the background check they do on you before you are officially hired will dig up any and everything you ve ever done in your life, up to and including that one time when you farted in a crowded elevator totally a friend of mine not me So obviously your initial reaction will be But you ve gotta figure out how to just go with it.Things that worked for me with Lingus was that it was humorous and that I ve developed quite the obsession with a certain than likely sociopath this summer while watching Big Brother with my family So even though the description of Tristan didn t match that of Cody, my perverted brain made it happen anyway That pretty much amounted to my internal voice screaming Which leads to the problems These two did not get together until the EIGHTY NINE PERCENT MARK That s a lotta blue balls I m sure some will disagree, but I do not pick up porn when I m looking for a good story That s always a plus, but at some point I want to get the show on the road I don t want to spend nearly 500 pages waiting on some penetration FFS All that makes me do is start focusing on things that shouldn t even be a blip on my radar Things like how many times these two snorted while laughing In case you were wondering there were NINETY SEVEN references to snort laughing Good thing I didn t take a shot every time they did it 3.5 Stars for being cute with enjoyable characters, but rounded down due to the aforementioned issues.ORIGINAL REVIEW Why yes, I absolutely did just one click this as soon as I saw the title I have heard nothing but amazing things about Mariana Zapata s books and I have been wanting to read one of her books for a long time Am I kicking myself for not trying this author sooner I don t think I could have kicked myself any harder I loved Lingus So much It was unique, sweet and so funny.Kat and her best friend are at an adult film convention She can t believe that she s really there, but she s determined to meet her favorite actor While her best friend is waiting to meet another actor, Kat talks with Tristan Tristan and Kat run into each other a few times at the convention and they always have a fun conversation When the convention ends, they exchange phone numbers It doesn t take long before they meet up with each other and they become friends.Kat and Tristan are incredible characters I loved them from the start Kat is sweet, funny, loving and honest Tristan is kind, easygoing, smart, hardworking and funny I absolutely loved Kat and Tristan together, as friends and as a couple.I adored the secondary characters Both Tristan and Kat have awesome friends Nicole and Zoey are funny, supportive, feisty and outgoing They meet up regularly and they always have an amazing time The friends made me laugh many times I loved their friendships.I knew I was really reading a winner because something that I usually don t like, didn t bother me at all This book was definitely a slow burn romance It doesn t need to be instant love, but I love it when things and especially a kiss don t take long But I kept turning the pages in this book, never wondering when something would finally happen between Kat and Tristan Their conversations, their banter, their friendship and the things they did together were all than satisfying Their first kiss and them as a couple were worth the wait. TRUST ME.It hurts me than it hurts this book to be rating it this low.I can t even express how disappointed I am right now.RTC Starting this book at 12 AM on a weeknight, because it s okay I never liked sleep that much anyway cries So happy to buddy read this book with the lovely Rachelle, who is as big of a fan of Mariana Zapata as I am I can t wait to read this Just as soon as I finish the other Mariana Zapata book I m currently reading. 3 3.5 StarsI finally read this last weekend and forgot to mark it on here Anyway, I liked it It was cute and I really liked the change in the male lead Usually MZ leading men are very stoic assholes who take a long time towarm up or at least show they are warming up to the heroine But such was not the case here Tristan LOVE that name, by the way was uber friendly, etc., from the onset The plot was decent and, per usual, I just truly enjoyed the nuanced, character building writing for which I love MZ I will say, however, that I thought some of Kat s inner and outer commentary in regards to some of Robby s co stars, etcwas kind of fucking hypocritical Would I love dating someone I knew plowed other women for a living No, can t say that I would But she started spending serious time with him AFTER knowing that s what he did And you can t tell someone you are okay with something and then malign them for it later, even passive aggressively It also kind of irked me the way Kat and Nikki responded to the women in the industry other than Zoey They were very accepting of the male stars and their actions and choices and yet referred to many of the women as whores and sluts It felt like a double standard to me If it s ok for the men to bang people for a living, then it s ok for the women too I have read a lot of autobiographies from people in the industry Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, Ron Jeremy and one of my favorite documentaries is After Porn Ends which I found fascinating and have watched than once Am I going to sign up to do porn myself No But I respect other people s choice to do so And while MZ seemed to try to make Kat very accepting and non judgmental of other people s sexual choices and practices, sometimes her words and actions didn t match that characterization Would I expect someone to struggle with coming face to face with a woman she knew her man had done scenes with Sure Would I expect her to feel conflicted about his job sometimes Sure That s human nature and we are jealous creatures But that doesn t mean she had to call them sluts for it Another thing that kind of made me raise an eyebrow was when Kat googled Tristan s workplace and called in sick for him when he had the flu UmmmmAnyone That just felt inappropriate Also, I have a hard time believing Tristan s workplace a law office doesn t do preliminary background checks, which would have most likely revealed hisother job Whatever though, per usual I am happy to suspend belief when I feel like it But I digress Overall, I enjoyed the story save for the above mentioned issues In fact, without said issues, I probably would have rated this 5 stars But not everything can be a Winnipeg. 4.5 starsI d do this all over again a hundred times as long as I met you in the endWell I learned a valuable lesson When my friend Nareh recommends me a book, I shouldn t wait 2 years to read the dang thing Because I flippin loved this gem of a book and I m genuinely shocked that of my book friends haven t read it Like the bloody diamond in the rough this book is.Kat Berger is dragged willingly to a porn convention by her best friend There she meets Tristan, an attractive yet mysterious guy who she has an instant connection with By the end of the day she s learned her new friend Tristan is also known as Robby Lingus, an adult film star Tristan and Kat decide to continue a friendship between the two of them, and Kat doesn t hope for a relationship between them as Tristan cites his job stands in the way of that Over time the two become close friends, and Kat is left struggling with her feelings for Tristan He doesn t feel like her other friends, but she doesn t dare dream for to protect her own heartNo one I d ever met made me feel a fraction of what he did No one I doubted I d ever meet anyone who could even be half the man and friend he was to meLike Zapata s other works, Lingus is a slow burn romance Those of you who enjoy the friends to lovers trope will love this book because Kat and Tristan really were true friends before anything else developed between the two of them I will say I liked that the characters got to know each other before anything romantic happened It made it that much special between the main characters, and later when the steam came in yes there is steam WOOT it meant so much between the two of them and it showed.This book was also a lot steamier than anything I ve read by this author, most of hers have a slow burn and some steam, but that wasn t the case here Lovers of the sexy times will enjoy this book very much, they ll just have to read the majority of the book before doing so I cannot recommend this book enough, and for those of you who need convincing, it s on Kindle Unlimited OR it s 99 cents So even if it s not your cup of tea, you don t have that much to lose But honestly, this was an excellent book so please give it a chanceI ve loved you way longer than you ve loved me