&Free ↿ Assholes Finish First ⇶ Ebook or Kindle ePUB free

Trees died for this Without question, this is the worst book I ve ever read and, if even ten percent of what Max writes about is true, he is one of the worst human beings I finished this piece of crap only due to the same fascination with which people view an automobile crash.There is no repeat no redeeming social value here Take a pass on this one, folks. I saw this in the airport and was sucked in my the title The title is far literal than you can possibly imagine, although besides wealth, there is nothing first about this repugnant prick, except first hardcover book I ll ever rip up and toss I won t even recycle it, because the pages could never be bleached enough to eliminate the stench of pathetic tool the weeps from every line I am less of a person after reading this trash I m ashamed that I gave this douchebag money He is the worst kind of douchebag just pathetic Please don t support him or read this book you will lose intelligence If you so desire I ll provide cliff notes so you can eliminate any inkling of interest.I laughed one time, when the author shit himself That s it I read 350 pages and I can t finish it It hurts to much. If you know me then you know I am a truly good person who doesn t break the law or do drugs I am not promiscuous, and I don t drink a lot Having said all that I love Tucker Max He is irreverent and honest Yes, he is that smart and if he were to use his powers for good the world would be a better place but far less interesting He probably wouldn t even like me because let s face it I don t fit his ideal girl and I m not a guy That s fine I don t want to sleep with him or hang with him I just want to read his hilarious books and maybe catch a show based on his stories every now and again If you like crazy antics that shouldn t work but somehow do then you will like his stories His self deprecating delivery is what gets me He will admit to being a self centered dick and somehow remain stubbornly attached to is skewed moral code. You know what s worse than all the haters dogging out Tucker Max for being a self proclaimed misogynist skank who gets action than a toilet seat It s all the women he sleeps with because of said attitude Even though I m sure his stories are exaggerated, I have no doubt that a good portion is true And you know what else They re hilarious I mean c monThe baby starts crying The mom looks worried I offer to help her make the baby stop Stydie is skeptical, Tucker, do you even know what to do with a crying baby I scoff, Of course I do You put it in a trash canThat s gold right there And ladies, don t listen to the other reviewers you shouldn t feel guilty because his material is offensive to women Honestly, no one s safe and that s exactly why it s so fun I leave you with this gemNew Yorkers think they re so jaded that it s impossible to shock them They think they ve seen and heard it all, and that may be mostly true But I can tell you from experience that, at 2am in Midtown, pretty much every person on the street will stop and gawk when they see a guy holding hands with one midget, and another midget on his shoulders yelling out AT Midget WHO RUN BARTERTOWN I RUN BARTERTOWN I picked this up at the airport because I needed some light reading and was in a rush I couldn t imagine that someone would publish such drivel, so I was expecting irreverence and debauchery with maybe a little something to make it interesting I was expecting maybe a modern day, lightweight Bukowski.What I got was party tales of a frat boy though I m not sure if he was actually in a fraternity and heaping helpings of drunken debauchery, but nothing that was actually interesting or funny enough to remember, and there s nothing particularly skillful or interesting about the writing, either He does use punctuation correctly most of the time , so he s got that going for him.Max is a master at manipulating drunken women with low self esteem Good for him That s slightly harder than mastering the alphabet and multiplication tables If you are someone who has already mastered the alphabet and multiplication and would like to move on to manipulating drunken women with low self esteem, then I highly recommend this book to you. Shame on this publisher for capitalizing on the bigoted, misogynistic, exaggerated rants of this psuedo story teller MAN CHILD I really wanted to laugh along with his antics, but by 50 pages in, I was too disgusted with his lack of humanity and immaturity to continue If his aim was to offend, he succeeded As I flipped through the rest of the book, I realized that it was just a few hundred pages of the same without any redeeming chapters that might prove he has a thoughtful reflection in his childish brain I can t imagine that this book is some sort of crafted artistic statement that has an underlining commentary about society His only point seems to be to show off how he can bully the people around him with witty attacks and bang as many women with low self esteem as possible I don t buy it If nothing else, this book exists in order to help the public avoid Tucker Max Assholes do not finish first, they just make the most noise to appear like they are winning with their bullying antics He may have monetary success right now, but karma will catch up to him He ll die alone hopefully with no progeny of some flesh eating penis cancer. I should be offended by virtually every word this guy writesseriously offendedbut I can t stop laughing. &Free ⇲ Assholes Finish First ✔ From The Tucker Max Website What Do You Do When You Ve Become Rich And Famous For Writing A Best Selling Book About Your Drunken, Sexual Misadventures I Ll Tell You What I Do I Write Another Fucking BookThis Is That Book Assholes Finish First Is Hilarious In Ways You Will Recognize From I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, And In Other, Newer Ways You Won T Of Course It Has All The Sex And Debauchery You Expect From My Writing, But With A Twist You Already Know How I Deal With Women When I Am Poor And Anonymous You Have No Idea How I Do It When I Have Money And FameIt Also Answers The Hard Questions You Ve Never Thought Of Asking What S It Like To Have Sex With A Midget How About Two Of Em What Happens When You Eat Too Much Beef Jerky And Then Drink A Gallon Of Vegetable Juice Or Get Head In An X Ray Machine The Answers Are Inside, They Are Absurd, And They Are The Product Of One Man S Experiences My Name Is Still Tucker Max, And I Am Still An Asshole I m rating this 4 stars merely because of its genre Tucker Max made me laugh, inappropriately throughout the entirety of the book, and I must say, for a completely arrogant, entirely narcissistic individual, he is incredibly gifted with intelligence, wit, and literary prowess It s almost as if he were accidentally blessed. Tucker Max is the kind of guy that no father wants his daughter to meet Ever He shows no respect for human beings and is very condescending towards everything That shouldn t come as a surprise, considering this guy is writing about all the sexcapades he s had during the years Sadly enough, one would think that even guys like him would eventually grow up and mature Not Tucker Max He s the epitome of a predator Taking advantage of girls when they re drunk and even soliciting sex on his website while constantly insulting aforementioned girls and his so called friends However, during this book, there is an ever repeating trend The girls he gets to have sex with have issues Primarily with their father He also seems to go mainly for the immature, inexperienced kind Did I mention predator Some of the pictures in this book could be fake The image of the leg of a girl who tattooed I f ed Tucker Max on it, for example If that is supposed to be a tattoo from a professional, she ought to get a refund This book is no piece of art, nor is it particularly well written It s the ramblings of a frat boy who likes to get drunk and laid Stereotypical and sadly enough, there are plenty of people out there that enjoy this type of writing Calling it literature would be an insult to any serious author.One true thing that is mentioned in this book however Tucker Max is an asshole and proud of it.