{Free Epub} ⛄ Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees ¹ eBook or E-pub free

I picked this book up hoping it would provide advice on navigating the complexities of subtle female aggression in relationships, particularly as they occur at work.This book did not offer advice Instead, it spent 85 90% of it s content diagnosing the problem and describing it through first person accounts of women who had been victimized.Look you aren t going to pick this book up if you are a Queen Bee , you are going to pick this book up if you find yourself in situations where you are the receiving end of hostility from another female and you aren t sure how to navigate the interaction.Her advice TALK to them Oh yay Good I NEVER thought of or tried that Oh wait, I did, and it didn t work In fact, it made things worse.All in all, this book is written by someone who spent a lot of time researching and analyzing the problem, and, like most of us, still hasn t a clue how to fix it.Not recommended. An important look into how female bullying doesn t end in high school but remains a reality for women throughout their lives. This book was worthless The author provides, collectively, about 40 pages of original material the rest is just essays or recollections she gathered from other women about what she terms Female Relational Aggression RA That, however, is not the only problem with this book.While I was certainly annoyed by the lack of information in this book, I was also infuriated by many of the conclusions offered For instance, in the first chapter she lists and summarizes the four main theories about why we allegedly see RA perpetrated by women, but she leaves it up to the reader to decide which one to believe She does not explain her theory of the cause, nor does she engage in any kind of critical discussion of a why our society only identifies this behavior with women b whether to place any validity in biological or social influences c why we supposedly do not see this behavior in men She never addresses these issues she only lists them This instance is only one example of the, in my opinion, lazy way this book is written Throughout the book, when Dellasega decides to add her own prose, she only summarizes what the reprinted essay states, and then states that RA is a bad aspect of women s behavior.I have many issues with these assertions A few years ago at work, I had to share one office that only had one computer and four desks with eight men I was the only woman in the whole bunch I m sure most people are familiar with the charges that women hate each other, that women are out to sabotage each other, that women only smile to conceal their true contempt for their coworkers or friends, yada yada yada What I learned from that year was men act the same way Each of my office mates hated each other and wanted to get the others in trouble or put them down behind their backs I was fascinated with the fact that each of them told me in confidence about the issues they had with the other men in the office, but never gave the others any reason to suspect their true feelings Everyone smiled and joked with each other when the group was there together when they were alone, they scowled over the issues between them I mention this because, while anecdotal, I think it is a sufficient paradigm of the kind of so called catty behavior of which our culture only accuses women, yet it is definitely present in both sexes, in all genders I mean, how else would you describe modern politics The bickering between male news anchors or political economic medical experts on TV The backdoor deals among power brokers or politicians The cut throat world of law school The attempts to one up each other based on who one is dating, how many girls one has bedded, how hot one s girlfriend is compared to another s, the size of one s paycheck, showing off at the gym In all of these arenas men do try to cut each other down Contrary to this book, American manhood is not constant high fives during a football game As with femininity, American masculinity is complex, intricate, and rife with competition As with very simplistic and misogynist causal arguments for female aggression, this book infuriated me by claiming that this kind of behavior is natural or determined Bear in mind this woman only discusses white, middle to upper class, heterosexual, American women She makes no effort to look at aggression in different cultures or among different groups of women Thus, we receive a slanted, tunnel visioned portrait of women s aggression And even with the information she does provide, I don t think she covers the complexity of the situation, nor tries to challenge conventional misogynist thinking To make her book eveninfuriating, while elaborating on her claims of natural behavior, she is just as ridiculous in her assessments of men For instance, she claims women arelikely to think about an issue from all sides, but men will think rationally and in terms of how an issue affects only them This is a crock, to be honest I, just like anyone else who has encounteredthan one person, can say that there are men and women who fit BOTH descriptions Interestingly, she does contradict herself by listing many social causes of female aggression and trying to make them part of her causal argument However, she interjects these ideas amid her discussions of naturalness in women s behavior To paraphrase Gloria Steinem, someone who looks like you but thinks like they do is even worse And so is this lady This book adds nothing to the discussion of women and aggression except flashy, Today Show ish language Are you a Queen Bee, a Middle Bee, or an Afraid To Bee , and illogical reasoning This book should be avoided at all costs. Why do some areas of life seem like the nightmarish aspects of middle school and high school all over again Have you ever wondered why some women, in the face of competition, regress to catty, back stabbing, ganging up and cruel behaviors toward other women Well then, this is the book for you Analysis can be the first step in understanding and changing behavior or at least not overpersonalizing it, and Dr Cheryl Dellasega does a beautiful job in explaining relational aggression that way that women hurt other women In a clear and evidence based book that is well organized and has excellent stories my highest complements , Dr Dellasega lays out her theories in a way that is understandable yet empathetic Maybe someday we can start leading our daughters in a different direction as a way to make the world a kinder and gentler place. I found this book extremely helpful in identifying female aggressiveness and its reasons in everyday life Perhaps I ve kinda always known what drives it, especially since I danced in a performing company for 25 years However, our company of girls was particularly supportive, a culture different than other studios We heard horror stories of backbiting and exclusion among ballerinas and did everything to not be them That knowledge did not easily translate into other aspects of my life There are few women in our office and those in leadership positions take the it s a man s world approach And while my running and biking group is very supportive, I have found other athletic individuals who might as well be backstabbing ballerinas To boot, I find men who unwittingly encourage competition against women and would become angry when I didn t participate Until I read this book, I would feel guilty that I had upset them Now I know that I should take pride that I refuse to let that dynamic continue.I m not blameless This book made me understand where I was WAYaggressive than necessary, where I fell into the instigator role, and how I allowed myself to become victimized But I can also see how much I ve succeeded in creating strong relationships with other women and how to do better by others in the future A lot of people felt they didn t get a lot from this book because the discussion is subjective and the suggested responses vague But everyone of our situations is different, so I don t think the author could have given a one size fits all conclusion It s trial and error The important thing is that we get started. It amazes me that some women can t get past high school socialization. Eh I really wanted to like this book, because I think it has a lot of good things to say about the horrible things girls do to each other, which often DO continue into adulthood.However, the cohesion problems presented by soliciting stories from other women werethan I could bear at times It could have benefited from MUCH tighter editing Some of the stories were virtually unreadable, and even some of the author s own text was left with several typos of the homophone type flare for flair, among others as though no editor actually ever took a peek at the manuscript And it s published by Wiley Disappointing. This book helped me realize that I m not crazy women really do act like that Unfortunately it occurs too often in the workplace I saw my past work situation so clearly in this book and realized that leaving was the best thing I could have done It also helped me see patterns to avoid that I have worked hard to implement in my new job Feel bullied at work by a queen bee You may want to wait until you leave to read it or at least have a big glass of wine handy But do definitely read it it s an eye opener. {Free Epub} ë Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees ë Almost Every Woman Has Experienced Bullying Whether Her Role Was That Of Victim, Aggressor, Or Bystander, The Pain Of Relational Aggression Female Bullying Lasts Long After The Incident Has Passed In Mean Girls Grown Up, Cheryl Dellasega Explores Why Women Are Often Their Own Worst Enemies, Offering Practical Advice For A Variety Of Situations Drawing Upon Extensive Research And Interviews, She Shares Real Life Stories From Women As Well As The Knowledge Of Experts Who Have Helped Women Overcome The Negative Effects Of Aggression Readers Will Hear How Adult Women Can Be Just As Vicious As Their Younger Counterparts, Learn Strategies For Dealing With Adult Bullies, How To Avoid Being Involved In Relational Aggression, And Dellasega Outlines How Women Can Change Their Behavior Successfully By Shifting Away From Aggression And Embracing A Spirit Of Cooperation In Interactions With Others This is my 4th read on the topic, yet the book offered new insights which others didn t If you re an attractive, well educated, confident woman with an aura then God help you, because wherever you ll go, you d meet women hostile to you This book validates thoughts which may otherwise seem vain.It lacks tips for victims so I took off 1 star Good book overall.